


Agnus Dei

by MidnightOfTheGrace



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: (how do tag), 3x20, Canon Compliant, Coda, Drabble, F/M, Gen, Meta, POV Second Person, Time Travel, time remnants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightOfTheGrace/pseuds/MidnightOfTheGrace
Summary: How does Barry Allen become the man who aims toendBarry Allen?





	Agnus Dei

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written Flash fanfic before and this is the first fanfic I've written in years, but the character of Savi!Barry has taken over my brain and won't let go, soooo have some fic.  
> Agnus Dei is Latin for "Lamb of God".

"How could I become the person who wants to _end_ me?"  
Oh Barry, there are so many reasons.  
Let me show you mine- just between _us_.

__

Imagine you are Barry Allen- actually _you_ don't have to, you ARE him. But... imagine, just for a second. That _you_ are Barry Allen, and _you_ have come from the future and you need your help _(you have done this before)_. You- he needs you to fight Savitar with him, help him, help yourself save the woman _(you love)_ he loves. You know you will die _(all the others have)_ , but you are more than okay with that, because you are Barry Allen, and Barry Allen, you see, is a hero.

But that's....the thing you just don't understand about time remnants, Barry. When you create _(ha, create, God creates himself)_ one, you split your _self_ , your very being, and you make yourself two... or more, as it is. They- you- are as much real as any other Barry Allen, as existent, as Alive, and you carry within yourself all your pain, all your memories, your experiences, your hope, your love. 

So you fight Savitar, fight yourself, and somehow, as you watch Iris West, love of _your_ life, die in front of you for the millionth time _(the first time)_ , you are not like the others. Somehow you survive. You are scarred and fractured, blind in one eye, almost completely broken, but it's not until what comes next that you- shatter.

Because, you see, he _(not_ you, _he makes himself very clear)_ stands in front of you _(the real Barry Allen)_ and you know that whatever you are, it's worthless. 

Not just to him though, and that's not the worst part. Iris is dead, and to the people that you love, the only ones you have left, you are an aberration. An abomination, a **mistake**. _(Created to save, created to die, failing both of those tasks, what are you?)_ The man you call a father, Joe, turns you away: you are not the _real_ Barry Allen. Your brothers, Cisco, Wally, turn you away: _you_ are not the real Barry Allen. Your friends, the people you trusted and cared about, the people you protected, turn you away: you are not the real _Barry Allen_. And Iris? Well, she's **dead**. The real Barry Allen failed to save her _(so did you)_.

And the _real Barry Allen_ stands in front of you and denounces you as nothing.

But that is not who you are, and in that moment, if you will do _anything_ , anything at all, to spite your ~~creator~~ enemy, it is to become what he will not. You will prove that you are not nothing, that you are alive, that _you_ have made yourself to continue so, that you are human- no. Not human. Less than. More than.

You are Barry Allen, as real as any other Barry Allen, who's mother died for him, who's father died for him, who himself lived and loved (and died). You are not false, some fake, empty copy. You are Barry Allen, yes- but you will not be **him** any more. His family has made sure of that.

And you? You are real. Barry Allen does not create you- you create yourself. And you will do anything, ANYTHING, at all to ensure that you are alive. That you are real. That you _exist_. 

_**(God creates himself.)**_

And for that you have to kill her.  
Something inside of you rebels-- _she's IRIS-she's the love of your LIFE._  
No. She is not the love of your life: she's _his_.  
After all, you're _just_ a time remnant.  


And so is she.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love :)  
> I'm always open to concrit, and this is unbetaed, so if you have anything you wanna say, I'd love it hear it!  
> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
